Mar 16, 2026
I often catch myself experiencing the world through filters. Like there is a tinted glass of measurement and assessment that everything passes through before it reaches my brain. Like I'm "sensing" everything by comparing how different it is from how things ought to be.
Sometimes, rarely, those filters lift, and the world looks gorgeous. The most "boring" things look like they have so many intricate details — man-made or natural; so many colors , shapes, textures, shades, fragrances and sounds... things that form a complete picture of that "boring" thing so vivid and large that it fills up all of my attention and awareness.
And ultimately, that seems to be it in the end. What you're paying attention to. It's easy to demand the world to provide you with something so stimulating that it forces you to pay attention to the thing and not your thoughts. It's hard to let go of the allure of your thoughts and actually pay attention to the world when it is not advertising itself to you.
I good sign that I am paying attention to thoughts about the world and not the world is when I am hurrying things up for no straightforward reason. Sometimes it looks likes walking fast when I don't need to. Or washing the dishes quickly when I don't really have anything to do after.
I find that on those rare days when I'm able to patiently pay attention to "boring" activities and allow my awareness to fully plunge into them, they cease to be boring almost suddenly. It's this delightful relaxation of mental muscles I didn't know were tense. It feels good in much the same way as tense or aching muscles feeling good when you get them massaged or stretched.
I wish I could summon that on demand. I think it is similar to developing good posture slouching or holding tension in random muscles in your body. Practice.
For now, the veils only lifts sometimes. Until I can wilfullly lift it and put it back down, it is welcome whenever it chooses to arrive.